Federal officials who recently reported that over 140 million Americans are fat are now saying that at least that many are ugly. And the solution they’re proposing is a law that would encourage or even require “facially challenged” citizens to cover up with masks, Weekly World News has learned.
But the news isn’t all bad. According to sources at the Department of Health, Education and Welfare, those among you who are real homely will be able to choose from a wide range of “beauty masks,” including Elvis in his prime, J.Lo, Brad Pitt and Julia Roberts.
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